Afraid to Talk About Sex?...So Were We.

If you've ever laid next to someone you love and still felt alone in your thoughts, unsure how to say what you truly need in the bedroom—you’re not alone.

We know that silence. We lived in it for a long time.

On the outside, we looked like two people who had history. And we did. But underneath that? Were two people carrying shame, insecurity, and fear around intimacy—not just physical, but emotional.

For us, the bedroom wasn’t just where the lights went off.

It was where unspoken fears came alive.

Josh’s Truth: When Chaos Feels Like Love

Growing up, I watched relationships fall apart before they ever had a chance to build roots.

Love was unstable. Loud. Quick to flare and quick to disappear.

So, I learned early that affection was something you earned—and lost—fast.

That led to a pattern of jumping from one woman to the next. It wasn’t about sex—it was about validation. If someone wanted me, maybe I mattered. If someone touched me, maybe I was safe… for a moment.

But real intimacy?

The kind where you have to slow down, open up, and show someone who you really are?I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t even know what it looked like.

So when Leslie tried to get close, emotionally and sexually, I panicked. I left. I didn’t know how to stay in something that felt so real.

Leslie’s Truth: When Rejection Changes You

When Josh walked out, I didn’t just feel heartbreak. I felt invisible. The person who saw all of me—my strength, my softness, my soul—had chosen someone else. Again.

During the years we were apart, I got sick. My body changed. I gained weight. And with that weight came a new fear: That even if Josh ever came back… he wouldn’t want me anymore.

Not the real me. Not the imperfect, scarred, heavier version of the woman he once knew.

So when we reconnected, I held back.

I was scared to be naked—not just physically, but emotionally. I didn’t want to feel that kind of rejection again.

What Changed Everything: A Conversation We Were Afraid to Have

It wasn’t one big moment—it was a series of small, shaky ones. We started talking. Not just about the past, but about the present. About what we actually needed. About what we were afraid to ask for. About the parts of ourselves we had kept hidden, even from each other.

Josh admitted that he never really knew what intimacy was. That chaos used to feel like love. And that now—being still, being seen—was both terrifying and healing.

I told him that I didn’t feel sexy all the time. That I worried he’d look at me and long for someone else. But I also told him what I desired. What I missed. What I hoped for between us—not just in the bedroom, but in our emotional bond.

The Result? Safety. Passion. Healing.

When we finally spoke our truth, it didn’t push us apart. It pulled us in.

We stopped performing. Stopped pretending. Stopped assuming the other person “should just know.”

And for the first time, our sex life became more than physical release.

It became emotional reconnection. Spiritual intimacy. Sacred ground.

If You’re Nervous to Talk About Sex With Your Partner—Start Here:

1. Acknowledge What’s Really Going On- It’s rarely just about sex. It’s about being seen, accepted, chosen. Start there.

   
   

2. Be Honest About What You Fear- “I’m scared to bring this up because I don’t want to push you away.” That kind of honesty invites closeness.

   
   

3. Let It Be a Dialogue, Not a Dump- Ask your partner how they feel too. Create a space for mutual sharing—not blame.

   
   

4. Affirm the Relationship While Expressing Desire- “I love us. I want to keep growing this. And I think this part of our connection could be even more powerful if we talked about it.”

   
   

5. Trust That Love Can Handle Truth-We know the fear. But we also know this: Real love can hold space for your truth—even when it’s messy.

   
   

From Our Marriage to Yours…

We’re not here to preach at you.

We’re living proof that it’s possible to go from fear and silence… to safety and fire.

Talking about sex won’t destroy your relationship. Silence will. And pretending to be okay with less than what you need doesn’t protect your partner—it just disconnects you from them.

You deserve a relationship where your needs aren’t too much. Where your body is honored. Where your voice is heard. And where intimacy is no longer something to fear, but something to look forward to.

If you don’t know how to start the conversation, that’s okay. That’s why we created Second Chance Coaching—because you can rewrite the story. And it can begin with one brave, honest conversation.

– Josh & Leslie Richey

Second Chance Coaching